25 Random things.

I'm feeling a bit rambly tonight, so I've decided to expand on my "facebook" list of 25 random things about myself, and share them with you, the blog readers of blogger.com...

 No particular order here, but here's 25 random things that maybe will g

ive you some insight into who I am, what I like, fears, thoughts, etc. 

1. I love to laugh. Serious laughing. 

2. I am a bit of a jealous person, I just am mature enough to hide it.

3. Everyone thinks I'm so nice at work, but some days, I just want to be nasty and get away with it like others do.

4. I can't stop myself when people use poor grammar. I have to correct it.

5. I hate spiders. HATE THEM.

6. I don't like certain people at work because they are mean to everyone that I do like.

7.  I say "I'm sorry" way too much. I apologize for things that aren't my fault. I think sometimes I feel it is just a conversation filler for people who are complaining about something.  When I don't know what to s

ay to them, I say "I'm sorry". Or I apologize for things I shouldn't have to apologize for, but then if I don't say "I'm sorry"  I feel like I've offended someone.

8. I hate confrontations. I wasn't taught how to handle tough situations, I don't have the balls to say what I think, stand up to people, and that's why people walk all over me.

9. I cannot look people in the eyes when they are up close to me. It's easy to look at someone's eye when they are at least 10 feet away, but when I have to talk to a customer or a friend that is less than five feet in front of me, I cannot look them in the eye. I think it's a challenge or something.

10. I give blood whenever I can, because with all the health problems that are rampant on my mom's side of the family, I feel I am aiding in their survival should they ever need a blood transfusion. Plus there are millions of people who need blood, and my one pint saves three lives.

11. I go to church once a year on Christmas Eve. It's pretty, and I always feel a little guilty about it cause again, I only go once a year like a million other people. 

12. I hate the N word, and all racism in general. It's ignorant and it's wrong. The color of another persons skin does NOT make them any less than someone else. Sorry it's a hot button issue with me. 

13. I really want to teach Italian.  

14. I watch It's a Wonderful Life every year on TV and I do some hardcore crying at the end. 

15. I wish I knew how to do stuff like my father. Fixing an appliance, cooking extravagant dinners, baking bread, crossword puzzles, etc.

16.  I love dogs. Medium to large size breeds mostly. Labs, Shepherds, pointers, and the dog that I want the most Weimaraner. I also like German Shorthaired Pointers. 

..that's all for now. I'm going to have to continue this later, I'm tired. Plus I've got to think about nine more things about myself. 

Friends

Soo...I haven't been blogging lately cause I've just been too busy, or I haven't had anything worth blogging about. As I was settling in for the night it occurred to me that I had a little problem that needed talking out, so here goes. 

I have been friends with S for about eight or nine years. It's a shame that I really can't pinpoint the actual years, but it's been since about junior year of high school, which is going on nine, so there. 

Well, S is only one year younger than me, and she had a child when she was 16. At that point, she dropped out of school, and I pretty much started being a good friend at that time, going over her house all the time, visiting, playing games, etc. Keeping her occupied, basically because the boy with whom she had a baby kind of wasn't in the picture. So i was like her best friend almost at that point, you get the picture, blah blah blah. 

So now about three and a half years ago S came to me to tell me she was pregnant again and this time with a different guy named T. At first I have to be honest (and I'm sure he felt the same way) we didn't really care for each other, mostly because I thought he was rude and he thought I was trying to move in on S, which I wasn't. It took a good year or so before we relaxed with each other. Anyway, I'm rambling. Since S sort of lost touch with all of her old high school friends (due to dropping out and having a kid) as is the case with some young parents, and since I was the one around a LOT I became probably her best friend by default, even though there was maybe one or two slacker friends along the way. 

So after she had her second child, S and T stayed together and we all sort of became friends, hanging out where and when we could, movies, bowling, pool tables, etc. Just being young and having good times. So now S and myself are in our ninth year of being friends, and prob. about last summer my position started to change. 

Now I know what you're all thinking. Guys and girls can't be best friends, yadda yadda unless it's a Will and Grace kind of thing. Well first of all I'm not gay so it's not that, we just became friends through unordinary circumstances which I would have to explain at a later blog. However, since I had been pretty much her only friend for so long I admit I got a little too comfortable. S started working with a girl our age called M and we all went out bowling one night in the summer and we had fun. Then S started hanging out with M a lot more, and calling me less and less. She does still invite me over for like game nights with M involved, and I have absolutely nothing against M. She is a fun person and we have a lot in common actually. I think I'm just insecure about friendship issues, so even when I do come over for game nights, S and M are so chummy and more in sync with each other that I sort of feel like the 3rd wheel, even though S's boyfriend (fiance) also joins in, but the feeling like the 3rd wheel remains. 

I mean, it's only natural that girls would be more chummy with another girl right? Do my feelings have any validity? I'm just feeling a little dumped by S because we've done so much stuff together that now it's like all coming to a halt. And she is planning to get married to T in June, which she never really even told me directly, it was actually at a party recently that she told someone else the date, and it was like I heard it secondhand.  So that was like another blow to my ego. We always say we're gonna rock out to Baby got Back at her wedding cause that's our favorite song, but she really doesn't share that much with me anymore. 

Okay so at the risk of sounding like a big softie I don't know whether to hold it all in (like a typical male) or actually tell her what's going on. Thoughts? Suggestions Anyone??